First Post

Okay so its been a few weeks since I've graduated from college, and I've decided to take up blogging now on a regular basis I guess...I'll try to make it a regular habit.

Anyway, a few things to get off my chest,

I. It's weird, straight up, things are weird. Feels like life is moving at an ultra fast rate, but that things seem the same all the time, every day is the same, and things that were once fun are not so anymore. Life is missing that spark, and I feel like I'm getting older but hell, I'm only 22! Am I supposed to feel bored and ambitious at the same time? I mean, I'm meant to have fun too, right? I dunno, work is work and making dough is important, but I feel like I need to take a trip or something, to see the world to get some perspective, to just be free and not caught in this boring ass routine they call life. The only thing that does motivate me are the first thoughts/feelings of spontaneity I have when I think of something that seems cool, like skydiving or going to Vegas, it seems fun but then I think, they cost so much money for such a brief time spent actually doing them. I know people say that focus on your life goals, what you ultimately want to do, but I need a well rounded life, not just film. I love film, and it is what I want to do, but I want to do other things, and not just career wise, but having hobbies and activities. Not to mention all my friends have moved away and I'm feeling isolated and alone more than ever. If this is adulthood, I say fuck it all! haha, jk, I'm sure I'll get used to it but come on, I just want to have fun!

Also, I need to feel as though I can trust people. It seems like everyone is letting you down one way or another, even though your giving them your all/best. I need to believe there is actual goodness in people, that aren't just related to you. Now, nobody is perfect, but for god's sakes, it would be great to meet someone who doesn't let you down in a severely disappointing way/manner. Perhaps its just me, but maybe I need to lower my expectations. Remember when you were 9, 10 years old, and you would go over to your friend's house to play that brand new game console called Nintendo 64, or your or your friend's mom would make you guys grilled cheese sandwiches after swimming in the pool? I miss those days, where expectations never factored in because FUN still was a possibility, good o'l fashioned fun. You didn't think about being let down or anything like that because your youth was the only important thing, to have the most fun and not worry about homework or your curfew for watching t.v. Lol, I don't have curfew or homework anymore, but just using those as examples, those were the only things barring me from having fun 24 hours a day back then.