Hickeys are bad for work

Okay, so its been almost two years since my last blog, but I'm back with my thoughts and what has happened so far...first off, I have a job! Or, I've had a job for over a year and its killing me; I work full time, I pay my bills, rent, live in a studio apartment, so why am I not content? Its a job that I can't stand, and somehow got suckered into believing it would make me feel complete and like an adult, but adulthood is overrated. Everyone around me acts like they are SOOOOO mature, but here's a secret, in the real world mature is codeword for boring. People don't drink, don't party, are afraid of strip clubs, sex is taboo, oh and hickeys are bad for work. For reals, when did all the fun get sucked out of life? Maybe when I graduated college, even then people were starting to seem old and lame. Everyone wants to act their age, but seriously, have they even seen old people? I've been talking about people in their 20's in case you haven't realized it, but maybe I just haven't been hit by adulthood fully. What will I be like as an adult? Will I be lame, fun, or an eskimo? Eskimos don't exist here in LA, if they did they would be mocked.

Then, there's the career/personal life dilemma. It seems as though there are two very important things you need to look out for in life, and those are having a career, and having friends. I'm used to having the latter, but my professional career seems to have stalled. The entertainment industry is suffering, and while I've made a valiant attempt at starting up my own business, even that seems to be going nowhere. What do I do? Do I brush it off, smile, keep my head down and work till I'm 65 in an office? Come on, is that what our college professors taught us? Maybe I should've been a teacher. But I'm too young to have regrets, or am I? Then there's the friend thing, I live in LA and its not easy to make friends. No, I'm not a social butterfly, I have a brain and I tend to use it in addition to my voice which I 'voice' more often than not. I have friends, but its hard to keep a social life sometimes, people are busy with their 'own lives,' doing whatever, and I find that I don't have that many responsibilities myself. Also, I don't seem to be clicking with anyone on a really cool level just yet, but we'll see.

I've gone out on a few dates this year, the first few were great, met this really (at the time I thought) nice girl, very pretty, and who also went to school in Arizona. However, due to miscommunication, things ended rather abruptly/quickly. But then she admitted that she didn't even want to get serious, so...pie in the face. I won't go into what happens beyond that, but lets just say I won't be seeing her anymore. This admittedly has stirred the rest of the year for me, but I'm slowly 'recovering,' hahaha.

Summer was interesting, met a lady on myspace, went on a date, then had sex. She's older than me, and also has a kid, so dare I say she's a milf? It was a one time thing, haven't spoken to her since, but hey, I got what I wanted in that case. TMI? Maybe, but if your still reading its your fault.

Most of the year has been about me shooting short films and magazine shoots. They've all been on the beach, and all have been about hot girls in bikinis. I've found my niche in life, and thats photographing women on the beach. Not a perv, not a thief, just a regular person with a good eye. But, a means to an end, I plan to eventually make money off of doing this, fortune and gl- well, just fortune. Thats also how I met the girl I said I was dating for a little bit, so new rule: no dating actresses. But, even this has gotten to me, so I think I'm taking a break from hot girls on the beach and focusing on my next venture, me. I am working on writing a feature length! screenplay. It'll be emotional, sad, inspiring, personal, and zzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Why do I feel like the smartest kid in my class? Is it because I'm stuck in LA where most of the people are self absorbed, starbucks addicted, suburbanites (?), fame hungry monsters? We'll see, but I plan to fly this coup and land somewhere in Alaska.

So remember, hickeys are bad for work, actresses want to get famoused, MILF's haunt myspace, and...if all else fails, think Alaska

LA SUCK IT (Not the Lakers)

LA sucks, well, some aspects of it do...

(not the lakers of course) :)

but the fakeness of LA sucks ass, seriously everybody out here thinks they're awesome and that you should kiss their ass, shine their shoes, bend over, whatever...

Of course I'm mostly speaking from the entertainment industry related side of it, which is basically all of LA. I'm thinking about moving, I don't know where or when, but probably where there is a lot of green and not a lot of cameras or industry or buildings, maybe out of the country...

I sincerely want to get into this industry, but I feel as though its bogged down by celebrity and "whatever sells." I truly feel for other independent struggling filmmakers out there, but really guys, lets try not to bring up or emphasize that we are "working with so and so from this huge movie," or that I'm friends with 'this person and that person,' its just lame. Why not make art for art's sake? Am I the only person who doesn't get excited or look when a "famous" person walks into Borders or the market or whatever? I mean, celebrities/actors do what they do, its their job, but they are not the ones who truly make a difference in this world. Teachers, doctors, lawyers (maybe not, lol), are the ones who do help and truly affect our lives. Granted thats not what I hope to do in life, but I understand and realize the truth of the situation, that they are the important ones and that they do not get the respect (especially teachers) they deserve. I also don't go around posting pics of myself and "famous musicians or actors or whatever," on my fucking facebook or myspace page. (I did that once, I took it down just realizing especially that since I do want to become a full time artist, that I should just value art or art's sake.) Who cares if you got the editor from "blah blah blah movie," just make a fucking good ass movie! Geez...

LA go suck a fucking camel di**. (Not the Lakers).

First Post

Okay so its been a few weeks since I've graduated from college, and I've decided to take up blogging now on a regular basis I guess...I'll try to make it a regular habit.

Anyway, a few things to get off my chest,

I. It's weird, straight up, things are weird. Feels like life is moving at an ultra fast rate, but that things seem the same all the time, every day is the same, and things that were once fun are not so anymore. Life is missing that spark, and I feel like I'm getting older but hell, I'm only 22! Am I supposed to feel bored and ambitious at the same time? I mean, I'm meant to have fun too, right? I dunno, work is work and making dough is important, but I feel like I need to take a trip or something, to see the world to get some perspective, to just be free and not caught in this boring ass routine they call life. The only thing that does motivate me are the first thoughts/feelings of spontaneity I have when I think of something that seems cool, like skydiving or going to Vegas, it seems fun but then I think, they cost so much money for such a brief time spent actually doing them. I know people say that focus on your life goals, what you ultimately want to do, but I need a well rounded life, not just film. I love film, and it is what I want to do, but I want to do other things, and not just career wise, but having hobbies and activities. Not to mention all my friends have moved away and I'm feeling isolated and alone more than ever. If this is adulthood, I say fuck it all! haha, jk, I'm sure I'll get used to it but come on, I just want to have fun!

Also, I need to feel as though I can trust people. It seems like everyone is letting you down one way or another, even though your giving them your all/best. I need to believe there is actual goodness in people, that aren't just related to you. Now, nobody is perfect, but for god's sakes, it would be great to meet someone who doesn't let you down in a severely disappointing way/manner. Perhaps its just me, but maybe I need to lower my expectations. Remember when you were 9, 10 years old, and you would go over to your friend's house to play that brand new game console called Nintendo 64, or your or your friend's mom would make you guys grilled cheese sandwiches after swimming in the pool? I miss those days, where expectations never factored in because FUN still was a possibility, good o'l fashioned fun. You didn't think about being let down or anything like that because your youth was the only important thing, to have the most fun and not worry about homework or your curfew for watching t.v. Lol, I don't have curfew or homework anymore, but just using those as examples, those were the only things barring me from having fun 24 hours a day back then.